A visit to Sam Son. Lots of memories that she thought she didn’t remember. Or doesn’t want to. The wave. The little girl spoiled. The toy she wanted. The last goodbye. The blur image. The deep ocean.
Lots of things that she wants to remember forever, and could not. His voice, his smile, his arms, his hug. The way he loves her so much. His everything.
I miss you, Dad.
Mom is on the flight back to Hanoi, after 5 days here with me, making sure everything is fine.
It felt so “right” when Mom was here. She woke me up early, gave me a few advice on dress. Then she waited for me to come home, listened to every single detail of my day, showed her real interest and gave me precious advice. She helped me unpack, read all the policies of the company to make sure her daughter is treated fairly (yeah, mother!:P ). She took a walk with me, discovered the area around. And many other tiniest stuff around here, she laid an eye on everything. I felt so safe.
But it was my choice moving here. Mom can’t stay with me all the time. She got to fly back, and suddenly something was missing. No complaints about my untidiness. No shouts when I do something wrong. No cuddles before I fell asleep. No tight hugs before I left for work. No very gentle advice I should do this, not do that. It feels empty.
Her flight was at 5p.m, before I came home from work. Before leaving, she left me a note “Me luon ben con. Co gang len nhe”. I went home, read the note and burst into tears. I couldn’t help it. Now I am really on my own. I really am. I know it sounds stupid, as many of my friends have been independent for a long time ago, when they went study abroad. But for me it’s still something very new that I am still adapting. Maybe it’s because I have always been safe and warm in Mom’s arms. Her protection and care are everything to me. These days I watched a lot of Friso’s commercials, when Mom and baby are friends, grow together, share everything together, I always had to hold back tears. It was exactly how I grew up, with Mom by my side, encouraging me being anything that I want to. She never wanted her baby daughter to work far away, but never said a word to make me worried, wasn’t against any of my decisions. Just being supportive and helpful. I miss Mom so much already. She has always been the bravest and strongest woman I know. It’s a pity that I can’t always be there beside her taking care of her like she did to me. All I can do now is wish her health and try as much as I can to make her proud. As I always try to do. :)
Love is your color
It makes you shine
So show your colors
It comes from inside
Everything else is black and white[Love is your color – Leona Lewis & Jennifer Hudson]
Thank you Mom for everything I’ve got. Your love has made a rainbow out of me. I love and miss you so much, Mom :) I will never forget you fondling my cheeks in the most tender way a mother can. I love you, love you…
hugs and kisses from a place that is always close to your heart.
your baby daughter.
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