Where I am right now

Waking up at the middle of the night, after a long sleep. You already warned me about this, about the fact that if I sleeped then I would wake up at midnight. I was stubborn and so sleepy that I ignore your words :p

Where Am I Right Now? 

Middle life crisis I guess. 

I desperately need a job, even though I shouldn’t be. I know I am such a capable person, whose potential is so huge, and I struggle to understand why it is so hard, so-fucking-hard, to get a job where I was born and raised. Still can’t get it.

I have everything I want in my personal life but suddenly everything needs to change – new life in Hanoi, adapt back to my home, different friends (I’m gonna miss my friends in HCMC so much, only a few but I love them…) and surrounded by my relatives (whom I love, but, you know…).

And then I realize, I have never had such courage. My personal life has always been a mess that I want to run away from. My job is good but not great yet still can be an excuse for me. I never have such courage to give it all and come back and be with my mom, even though I love her so much and I just really want to be with her and I know if I am not I will be regretting it for the rest of my life. I realize never in my life I’m in this stage, uncertainty but still able to move on. Maybe thanks to you my baby. Who has been my strength, my shelter, my rock for me to lean on. Who has been whispering “everything is gonna be alright” every single night and holds my hand tight and does everything he can to make me believe it. I feel lucky.

I love you. I do. So much. 

Let’s go through this stage together and I can’t wait to start a new life with you :)