In return to the ‘flower’ post

I read your “Flower” post today, and suddenly it hits me how much we all wanted love, and to be loved. I have been quite a “mother” when lecturing you about not flirting around and not kissing all strangers. But I never realize that you also want that indeed, but life just doesn’t show you the way. I was not really “there” for you mentally and physically (well damn long-distant friendship) when your heart got broken. I have those nights too, those nights that put scars to our hearts, that wet tears and really feeling like something is broken inside. Those nights when you get choked up because you cry too hard and you can’t breathe, when you sleep on a wet pillow and terrified to find ways to get your eyes less buffy the next day. We girls have all been there. But now we can’t not really be there for each other. 

I just mean everybody has their own way getting your heart fixed. And I believe that you are on your track. Trying a bit of this, putting on a bit of that. Having fun, enjoying every moment. Smile whenever you could. Buy yourself a cupcake, or even flowers, if you need to. 

Defining your happiness baby. And I’m sending you so many hugs and kisses that might blow you away… :)

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sensitivity

maybe that’s what I lack. High school was easy. I was just being myself, didn’t give a damn thing on all the gossips and the haters around. I said what I wanted to said, and acted the way I found fit.

Well, currently life has been a bit harder than that. Or that I reveal more of my selfish self? I speak without watching my words. I laugh a bit too loud. I act too innocently that sometimes people don’t believe that I’m that much naive. Words I don’t mean to hurt, hurt. Laughters I don’t mean to put on shame, shame. Feeling like slipping but don’t even see the floor, to know what’s on it that make it so hard to stand straight. Don’t even have anything to hold. Just take all the feedback and try to absorb it while I myself don’t even remember doing any of that.

And I realize how difficult it is to find somebody who accepts you for who you are. Who never judges. Who trusts. Who finds the flaws beautiful. Now I have only a handful of these people. And suddenly I feel like I’m the luckiest girl on earth.

Hmm.. Lesson learnt.. If you want to survive in this world Pt, grow up.

You’re the one that I love and I’m saying goodbye…

Say something, I’m giving up on you
I’ll be the one, if you want me to
Anywhere, I would’ve followed you
Say something, I’m giving up on you

And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all

And I will stumble and fall
I’m still learning to love
Just starting to crawl

Say something, I’m giving up on you
I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you
Anywhere, I would’ve followed you
Say something, I’m giving up on you

And I will swallow my pride
You’re the one that I love
And I’m saying goodbye

Say something, I’m giving up on you
And I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you
And anywhere, I would’ve followed you

Say something, I’m giving up on you

Say something, I’m giving up on you
Say something