Midnight

It’s midnight, and I can’t sleep.
Recently I seem to stay up very late, getting addicted to the quite night, and also the loneliness. It’s the time when i’m all on my own, yet I feel safer and warmer than ever. Maybe that’s what I’m designed for. To be on my own. Cuz for now me being with anyone else, talking anything, would just cause their irritation. I really mean anyone. Everyone.
What’s wrong with me? Am I no longer the cheerful, light-hearted and warm girl who’s always with a smile on her face? Is it true that I always hurt others unintentionally? Or just people being too judgemental on me?
I don’t know.
I just know that I don’t mean to be bad. And even if I’m turning into one, I am doing and trying very hard not to.
Maybe that’s me. I’m designed to be alone.
Or maybe I just really need an escape. To where people accept me for who I am.
To where I feel worthy and loved.

That’s so luxurious these days.
Love.

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